Emotional Support Brick™ (Deluxe)

 Deluxe Emotional Support Brick™

• Identical to the Standard Brick, but you paid more, so it must be better, oh, and it comes with some additional text on it, so we charge more for that.
• We might nod approvingly while packaging it.

Tired of people being unreliable? Pets too needy? Therapy too expensive? Introducing the Emotional Support Brick the only companion that never argues, never leaves, and never eats the last slice of pizza.

• Loyal for life – Will never abandon you (unless you drop it).
• Zero upkeep – No feeding, no walking, no awkward small talk.
• Multipurpose – Stress relief? Paperweight? Home security? The possibilities are endless.
• Not a licensed therapist – But still listens better than most humans.

Provides the comfort of a warm hug if that hug were firm, rectangular, and slightly rough around the edges. Get yours today and embrace the unshakable support of solid masonry!